No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
