I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
