you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
