I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
