CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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