"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
