my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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