i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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