She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
