There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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