Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
