The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
