Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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