SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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