my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
