can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
