i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
