Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
