Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
