cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The feeling are messing with the penis
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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