He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
