i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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