After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Randomize
