So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
