he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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