I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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