I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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