Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
