come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
