I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
