Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
