just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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