Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
