And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
