Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
