How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
