Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
wow bdsm is so cute
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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