Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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