I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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