I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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