Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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