Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
