I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
