How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
