No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
