but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
