Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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