she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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