Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
