Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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